Charva Text Specification

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IMPORTANT!

Background

Your First Phrase

"hoo man, thes nixie t'dee"

This phrase can be used to a fellow Charva when you are bored, and have nothing to do. This usually occurs when there are no more cars to "TWOC". If we break down the phrase into it's four seperate entities, we can begin to analyse it.
The first entity, "hoo man", can be likened to the words "hey you". Although these words are designed to be used as an attention grabber, they are more often used to begin a sentence.
The second entity "thes" derives from "there's", the more common abbreviation of the English phrase "there is".
The third entity "nixie" comes from the Latin word "nix" which means "nothing". The fourth and final entity, is "t'dee". This is another contraction of the words "to" and "dee". The word "dee" is used to replace the word "do". When the whole phrase is broken up and translated like this, it can be stuck back together again to get the translation "hey you, there is nothing to do".

Using Expletives

"Ah went oot last neet n' a got puarly mortal, man"

"Ah went oot last bastard neet n' a got fuckin' puarly fuckin' mortal, man y' cunt"

Getting To Know The Locals

Charva Attire

Charva Life

Charva Cars (Charvamobiles)

1. The first essential needed to begin your Charvamobile is a car. Charvas don't just go for any car though, it must meet certain specifications first.
   • The car needs to be cheap.
   • The car needs to be sporty in shape.
   • The car needs to be a bright colour. (Although it can be re-sprayed)
   Usual recommendations are Ford Fiesta, Ford Escort, Vauxhall Astra, etc.
2. Next comes the blacking. You must black out all windows, lights, mirrors, and any other bits of glass on the car. Special darkened glass can be purchased for this, but if money is a problem, a black permanent marker - available at most stationary shops - will do the job.
3. Exterior decor is the next step. Big stickers promoting "Kenwood", "Max Power", No Fear", "On A Mission", and other clever phrases are popular among the Charvas. These can be placed: in the back window; along the top of the frond windscreen; along the side of the car; and accross the bonnet.
4. If the car does not come equipped with a spoiler and body kit, then this is an essential next purchase.
5. Finally the "music". A Kenwood or similar system is ideal for the charva car. The music chosen must have a repetitive drum and bassline, with little or no lyrics, and shouts of "Bassgenerator" and "Hardcore" throught the "song".

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   Example Phrases

   Charva

   heeah man, al get me uncle t' propa kick ya heed in man, y' fuckin' steroid takin' freak!

   English

   You're going to reget that, I'll get my uncle to sort you out!

   To Be said after being turned away from a public house or discotheque by a doorman.

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   Charva

   That gadgee give us a proper dodgee deal man!

   English

   That man gave me an amount of drugs that were not of a very high standard.

   After a "dealer" has issued you with an amount of drugs, this phrase can be used if the drugs are not of the standard you expected.

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   Charva

   d'y wanna see what a proper nutter I am?

   English

   Would you like a demonstration of my mental unstableness?

   Should be used in the build up to a fight, in order to scare the opponent into retreat.

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   Charva

   y's 'r' all bastards, 'am gannin' hyem.

   English

   You boys are all rotten, I'm going home now.

   Is usually issued when a charva has been upset due to foul play.

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   Charva

   Ar aye, ah knaa what y've been deein'.

   English

   Oh yes, I know what you have been up to.

   A charva mother or father after a charva kid has just tried to conceal his mischeif.

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   Charva Links

   • Viz - Viz magazine, home of Ravey Davey Gravey, a top class Charva in his own right.
     
   • Sweary Mary's Dictionary - Viz magazine's expletives, including many Charva swear words.
     
   • Geordie Passions - The origins of the Charva stretch back to Geordie times.
     
   • English2Geordie Translator - For translating plain English into Geordie.
     
   • Geordie Dictionary - For Geordie reference purposes.
     
   • Newcastle - The home of the Charva, find out more about his surroundings.
     
   • Newcastle United Football Club - Almost all Charvas worship Newcastle United.
     
   • Newcastle Brown Ale - Newky Brown is the drink some Charvas venture to.
     

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   Charva Dictionary

   A

   aave - Taken from the English words "I Have".
   alfie - To inform an authority about somebody's actions. (e.g. y' puarly alfied on us)
   allreet - Used as a greeting term, "How Are You". (e.g. y'allreet charva?)
   

   B

   bastard - A fatherless child. Used as an insult.
   beauty - See belta.
   belta - Used for expressing how good something is. (e.g. that car's puarly belta)
   bollocks - The male genitalia. Used to describe something as rubbish. (e.g. y' talking puar bollocks ye are)
   bucket - When a charva is depressed he might sit in a small room or cupboard with a bucket. This is another way to inhale the illegal substance contained in a joint.
   

   C

   charva - A resident of the West End of Newcastle. The Charva invariably believes that s/he speaks perfect English, has perfect diction, knows the meaning of life (TWOC'ing) and is the centre of the Universe. (e.g. how ye, y' charva)
   charve - Verb, To Steal. See taxed.
   clamped - To be corrected, nearly always used in conjunction with the word puarly. (e.g. y' puarly clamped man, ye are)
   cunt - The female genitalia. Used as an insult.
   cushdy - See belta.
   

   D

   dealer - A person who supplies illegal drugs.
   dee - Taken from the English word do. (e.g. there's nowt t' dee)
   divn't - Taken from the English word don't. (e.g. y' divn't wanna dee that man!)
   

   E

   F

   fuck - This English taboo word should be used as much as possible in any sentance. (e.g. how man, that's fuckin' puarly fuckin' ladgeful that man)
   

   G

   gan - Taken from the English verb to go.
   geet - Adjective to emphasise things. (e.g. proper geet big bloke)
   grass - See alfie.
   

   H

   hoo man - An attention grabber, to be used when attention has already been gained.
   hor - A variation on the English word her.
   how - A variation on the English word hey.
   hyem - A Charva home. (e.g. 'am gannin hyem)
   

   I

   J

   joint - The traditional social tool between charva's. Charva's will sit around smoking joints while socialising.
   

   K

   knaa - An adaptation of the English verb know.
   

   L

   ladgeful - Used for expressing how bad something is. (e.g. she's fuckin' ladgeful hor man)
   

   M

   man - To be added indiscriminately at the end of each sentence, man.
   me - Taken from the English word my.
   mint - See belta.
   

   N

   nash - Nash is based on the English verb to go, but usually involves speed. (e.g. he proper did a nash when me father turned up)
   nitto - See ladgeful. Usually expressed as nitto t' death.
   nixie - Nothing [From the Latin nix] (e.g. nixie t'dee, it's puarly radgee)
   noo - Taken from the English word now.
   nowt - See nixie.
   

   O

   oot - Taken from the English word out.
   

   P

   puar - Taken from the English word pure. Puar and puarly are used to emphasise something. (e.g. it's puarly mint, man)
   proper - An adjective to be used anywhere in a sentance. (e.g. he's a proper radjee)
   

   Q

   R

   radgee - Is the Swiss Army Pen Knife word of Charva text. Can be used as a noun, adjective or verb. Use where, when and as often as you like.
   

   S

   scally - See Sharon.
   sharon - Is the female of the charva species.
   shite - Excretement. Often used to describe how bad something is. (e.g. that's fuckin' shite that is, man)
   skwark - The high pitch vocalisation made by a sharon.
   

   T

   t' - A contraction of to.
   tabs - A substitute for a more costly joint. Charva's invariably tax tabs off one another to avoid purchasing them.
   taxed - Stolen [tax - to steal] (e.g. y' puarly taxed me car, man)
   thes - A variation on the English contraction there's.
   TWOC - Taken Without Owners Consent, the term used to steal a car.
   

   U

   V

   W

   waxa - See belta.
   wor - Taken from the English word our.
   

   X

   Y

   y' - And ye'. A contraction of the English word you.

   Z

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   Help Wanted

   If anyone has any ideas, new words or phrases, or anything to submit to this CharvaText Specification, then please mail me.

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   Credits

   Thanks to the following people...

   Paul Holden	Thanks for coming up with some dictionary entries, for the Charva Cars idea, and various other bits and pieces.
   Mark Pearson	Thanks for coming up with some Charva phrases.
   Anthony Simpson	Thanks for some of the dictionary descriptions.