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Disclaimer:
The information contained herein constitutes a linguistic and sociological study of the West End of Newcastle. The authors wish to emphasise that they in no way condone swearing, or practices such as "TWOCing". They are fully aware that such things are neither "big" nor "clever".

Charva Text Specification


Spec Revision: 1.02 Written By: littlecharva
Revision Date: 30 Jan 97 littlecharva@hotmail.com

You are CharvaText student #

IMPORTANT!

As you can see from the revision date, this site hasn't been touched for quite a while; but since it obviously gets a fair few hits I thought I should pull my finger out and update it. So any suggestions can be sent to littlecharva@hotmail.com and they will be included. Wey, as long as th' not shit like.

Background

Charva Text is used widely around the Newcastle area of England. This language was used raw and with no standard, until the language was studied and standardised by littlecharva. Used primarily in the "West End", this language is used in everyday conversation between "Radgees" and "Charvas". The language is easy to adopt and learn, and with the help of this document can be learned with only a few visits to this site.

Your First Phrase

"hoo man, thes nixie t'dee"

This phrase can be used to a fellow Charva when you are bored, and have nothing to do. This usually occurs when there are no more cars to "TWOC". If we break down the phrase into it's four seperate entities, we can begin to analyse it.
The first entity, "hoo man", can be likened to the words "hey you". Although these words are designed to be used as an attention grabber, they are more often used to begin a sentence.
The second entity "thes" derives from "there's", the more common abbreviation of the English phrase "there is".
The third entity "nixie" comes from the Latin word "nix" which means "nothing". The fourth and final entity, is "t'dee". This is another contraction of the words "to" and "dee". The word "dee" is used to replace the word "do". When the whole phrase is broken up and translated like this, it can be stuck back together again to get the translation "hey you, there is nothing to do".


Using Expletives

Swear words are an essential part of CharvaText. Words like fuck, shite, and bollocks can be used widely in conversation with a fellow Charva. Most swear words can be used at any time during a sentance to harden and lengthen the sentance.
For example, the phrase...
"Ah went oot last neet n' a got puarly mortal, man"
...can be lengthened by adding the words: cunt, fuck, and bastard. Thus producing the following...
"Ah went oot last bastard neet n' a got fuckin' puarly fuckin' mortal, man y' cunt"

Getting To Know The Locals

Charva Attire

Typical clothing for a Charva consists of baggy Eclipse jeans in either black or white, checked shirts, sports wear, usually ADIDAS (although a charva will never do sport, except for the odd game of football), and baseball caps usually Nike.

[A photograph of a typical Charva will be uploaded soon]

Charva Life

Charva Cars (Charvamobiles)

[Charva Car Image]
Constructing a Charvamobile
  1. The first essential needed to begin your Charvamobile is a car. Charvas don't just go for any car though, it must meet certain specifications first. Usual recommendations are Ford Fiesta, Ford Escort, Vauxhall Astra, etc.
  2. Next comes the blacking. You must black out all windows, lights, mirrors, and any other bits of glass on the car. Special darkened glass can be purchased for this, but if money is a problem, a black permanent marker - available at most stationary shops - will do the job.
  3. Exterior decor is the next step. Big stickers promoting "Kenwood", "Max Power", No Fear", "On A Mission", and other clever phrases are popular among the Charvas. These can be placed: in the back window; along the top of the frond windscreen; along the side of the car; and accross the bonnet.
  4. If the car does not come equipped with a spoiler and body kit, then this is an essential next purchase.
  5. Finally the "music". A Kenwood or similar system is ideal for the charva car. The music chosen must have a repetitive drum and bassline, with little or no lyrics, and shouts of "Bassgenerator" and "Hardcore" throught the "song".

    Example Phrases

    Charva
    heeah man, al get me uncle t' propa kick ya heed in man, y' fuckin' steroid takin' freak!
    English
    You're going to reget that, I'll get my uncle to sort you out!
    To Be said after being turned away from a public house or discotheque by a doorman.
    Charva
    That gadgee give us a proper dodgee deal man!
    English
    That man gave me an amount of drugs that were not of a very high standard.
    After a "dealer" has issued you with an amount of drugs, this phrase can be used if the drugs are not of the standard you expected.
    Charva
    d'y wanna see what a proper nutter I am?
    English
    Would you like a demonstration of my mental unstableness?
    Should be used in the build up to a fight, in order to scare the opponent into retreat.
    Charva
    y's 'r' all bastards, 'am gannin' hyem.
    English
    You boys are all rotten, I'm going home now.
    Is usually issued when a charva has been upset due to foul play.
    Charva
    Ar aye, ah knaa what y've been deein'.
    English
    Oh yes, I know what you have been up to.
    A charva mother or father after a charva kid has just tried to conceal his mischeif.

    Charva Links


    Charva Dictionary

    A

    aave - Taken from the English words "I Have".
    alfie - To inform an authority about somebody's actions. (e.g. y' puarly alfied on us)
    allreet - Used as a greeting term, "How Are You". (e.g. y'allreet charva?)

    B

    bastard - A fatherless child. Used as an insult.
    beauty - See belta.
    belta - Used for expressing how good something is. (e.g. that car's puarly belta)
    bollocks - The male genitalia. Used to describe something as rubbish. (e.g. y' talking puar bollocks ye are)
    bucket - When a charva is depressed he might sit in a small room or cupboard with a bucket. This is another way to inhale the illegal substance contained in a joint.

    C

    charva - A resident of the West End of Newcastle. The Charva invariably believes that s/he speaks perfect English, has perfect diction, knows the meaning of life (TWOC'ing) and is the centre of the Universe. (e.g. how ye, y' charva)
    charve - Verb, To Steal. See taxed.
    clamped - To be corrected, nearly always used in conjunction with the word puarly. (e.g. y' puarly clamped man, ye are)
    cunt - The female genitalia. Used as an insult.
    cushdy - See belta.

    D

    dealer - A person who supplies illegal drugs.
    dee - Taken from the English word do. (e.g. there's nowt t' dee)
    divn't - Taken from the English word don't. (e.g. y' divn't wanna dee that man!)

    E

    F

    fuck - This English taboo word should be used as much as possible in any sentance. (e.g. how man, that's fuckin' puarly fuckin' ladgeful that man)

    G

    gan - Taken from the English verb to go.
    geet - Adjective to emphasise things. (e.g. proper geet big bloke)
    grass - See alfie.

    H

    hoo man - An attention grabber, to be used when attention has already been gained.
    hor - A variation on the English word her.
    how - A variation on the English word hey.
    hyem - A Charva home. (e.g. 'am gannin hyem)

    I

    J

    joint - The traditional social tool between charva's. Charva's will sit around smoking joints while socialising.

    K

    knaa - An adaptation of the English verb know.

    L

    ladgeful - Used for expressing how bad something is. (e.g. she's fuckin' ladgeful hor man)

    M

    man - To be added indiscriminately at the end of each sentence, man.
    me - Taken from the English word my.
    mint - See belta.

    N

    nash - Nash is based on the English verb to go, but usually involves speed. (e.g. he proper did a nash when me father turned up)
    nitto - See ladgeful. Usually expressed as nitto t' death.
    nixie - Nothing [From the Latin nix] (e.g. nixie t'dee, it's puarly radgee)
    noo - Taken from the English word now.
    nowt - See nixie.

    O

    oot - Taken from the English word out.

    P

    puar - Taken from the English word pure. Puar and puarly are used to emphasise something. (e.g. it's puarly mint, man)
    proper - An adjective to be used anywhere in a sentance. (e.g. he's a proper radjee)

    Q

    R

    radgee - Is the Swiss Army Pen Knife word of Charva text. Can be used as a noun, adjective or verb. Use where, when and as often as you like.

    S

    scally - See Sharon.
    sharon - Is the female of the charva species.
    shite - Excretement. Often used to describe how bad something is. (e.g. that's fuckin' shite that is, man)
    skwark - The high pitch vocalisation made by a sharon.

    T

    t' - A contraction of to.
    tabs - A substitute for a more costly joint. Charva's invariably tax tabs off one another to avoid purchasing them.
    taxed - Stolen [tax - to steal] (e.g. y' puarly taxed me car, man)
    thes - A variation on the English contraction there's.
    TWOC - Taken Without Owners Consent, the term used to steal a car.

    U

    V

    W

    waxa - See belta.
    wor - Taken from the English word our.

    X

    Y

    y' - And ye'. A contraction of the English word you.

    Z


    Help Wanted

    If anyone has any ideas, new words or phrases, or anything to submit to this CharvaText Specification, then please mail me.

    Credits

    Thanks to the following people...
    Paul Holden Thanks for coming up with some dictionary entries, for the Charva Cars idea, and various other bits and pieces.
    Mark Pearson Thanks for coming up with some Charva phrases.
    Anthony Simpson Thanks for some of the dictionary descriptions.
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